Secret laboratory

So as many of you may know, I have a secret laboratory in which I conduct my "research" for certain things.  As of late my research has become a bit more, how should I say, demanding.  Today I come to my legions for assistance.  I require more ideas for which to dissect and examine.  The fountains of knowledge need to flow more freely, and I feel like with your help my minions, the world shall become far more grand.  I have created three trolls from fourteen cats, three dogs, a chimpanzee, two pineapples, a refrigerator, two and a half compass needles, eighteen humans - four females and fourteen males - a pizza from Little Ceaser's, a pair of pants, and the ground from Hiroshima.  My hopes are to make two more trolls from similar items.  First thing is first though, I need to make you, my minions, more obedient, so step through these doors and tell me how the trolls are doing...  Well, enjoy.  
But really, some more ideas of things to write about.


"Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain 
I hope that you've enjoyed your stay so far 
I see you've met my assistant Scarface 
His appearance is quite disturbing 
But I assure you he's harmless enough 
He's a sweetheart, calls me master 
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me "

Shawn Davis

Yer Just An Abercrombie Eh

Everything was eggs and coffee...  but that was only till the torpedo showed.  That's when we's knew it was time to dangle.  It wasn't long before we realized our pally wasn't in town to be bumping gums.  He was plugging us with his Chicago typewriter meanin to have us all kiss off.  Of course, we got some chums who were more than glad to gum up the works, makin his work nothin more than a trip for biscuits.  Sure me and my chums were a bit off the cob, but we were all cats and alligators lovin the chirp of the canaries, certainly no people to be in this kind of wingding.  Since the coast is clear now, I'm a bit Joed so I'll doss for now, but I'll fill you in on the lowdown later, no worries there.

"This isn't the 1930's.  There are some differences on organizing strategies, but it doesn't add up to a need for a split.  This is not a positive step"

Shawn Davis

Shirpah

It's what is, that is until it isn't.  Now take all that you think you know.
Good job, you just found out how little you know.  By the way, that'll be 125 USD for my services.
But wait there's more!
I would like for you to think of a number.  Now take that number and remove all but the first digit.  Now, take that number and round it down to the nearest even number, counting zero as an even.  Now tell me your original number and I can tell you what you ended up with.  Amazing, isn't it?  That one is free of charge, but if you ever use any of the numbers or ideas we just used, you owe me 350 USD per occurrence.

"An idea can turn to dust or magic, depending on the talent that rubs against it"

Shawn Davis