Comrade

So in order to fully understand the workings of those who are ultimately known as the feeble minded, you must first understand that if you understand them, in Soviet Russia they will understand you.  So in order to avoid such a thing from happening, you must first create an Alter, think of this as a temporary variable that you will be able to discard later.  Upon doing so, you will be able to use this Alter to understand those who are feeble minded, and since it is not you understanding them, rather a created variable state of a human, the feeble minded may know tat in Soviet Russia, but not you.  Keep in mind, do not venture in to far rto the mind of your Alter because then you may accidentally know the feeble minded, and then they will now you, in Soviet Russia, and then it's all over but for the tears.

"He who laughs last didn't get it"

Shawn Davis

Revitalize

The theory of combined theororization, or in simple terms, the theory that all theories are not actually theories, but rather a conglomeration of ideas that are brought forth and accepted as theory, where as they cannot actually be accepted as a theory because theories truly cannot exist because of the fact that in reality, there is no reality and that all of everything is just a though, a kind of run-on sentence that just doesn't seem to stop that is talking about nonsense, and in theory it all works, but that is only in theory due to a form of relevance between theories making the nonsense even more nonsensical through an ideal theory to theorize everything.  This is how you can theoretically think of things.

"It is theory that decides what can be observed"

Shawn Davis

Curved

The thought of man cannot be made into the simple delicacy of Campbell's condensed, but what it can be made into is a bearer of mastery.  It can contain within it the essence which can provide unto people the power to decide, decide on which condensed soup you want to eat right now, which liar you wish to vote for, what villain you wish to make someone now, or any number of choices.  Just like in a world of thought, it can fill you with braggadocio as well.  Onto my next point:  zebras.  Zebras are awesome.  Look at them, they gots all kinds of stripes and things.  They are cool horses basically.  I mean, just LOOK at them, black and white, simplicity, but the intricacies of super stripes.  I mean, they are almost as awesome as penguins, who also happen to be black and white, all things awesome seem to be black and white, have you noticed?

"There's something powerful about black and white imagery"

Shawn Davis

Penguinites

Arise and stand, oh holy of creatures.  You bring upon the lands of frigid what cannot be called mere hope, rather a blessing of just super awesome stuff.  Here me oh Penguins of Antspartica, you are being beckoned by the council, for we require your assistance in matters most urgent.  There is a severe lack of ice in our cooler, which is causing all of our drinks to...
Again!!  Come on, does no one screen the calls we get any more, that's the twelfth prank call we Antsparticans have received!  I mean really, are there no more dark spawns for us to vanquish, we cannot have truly rid the world of all of the Estrui.  We shall begin our search for them, they are out there somewhere, I can feel it.
Hello, are you satisfied with your long distance provider?
Why no I am not, why do you ask?
Well, we currently have a plan that would feature unlimited long distance calling for only two in the bush.
SERIOUSLY!!  COME ON MAN!  Start screening calls or you are all fired!

"This is not madness my friend, this is unanimous!"

Shawn Davis

Overhaul

Tis a mind bending time for the consideration of a max perplexity.  To enhance ones own vision of everything and its surroundings you must examine things in the most complex ways.  Make your brain reel.  Imagine a cow, now imagine a color, now imagine a cow in that color, now comprehend where that cow may have come from, and in that you may also derive how he got to where he is, and perhaps think about why he is eating what he is eating, and think about his, I am calling it a him for simplicity so bear with me please, innate ability to jump over the moon.  Try and focus on a specific detail and then expand it into a universe, and that is how the universe is, a sheer immensity of immense proportions, similar to that of hog tying three ants up with a single hair.

"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone"

Shawn Davis

A Competition?

http://www.facebook.com/notes/dell-magazines-award/guidelines-for-2011-dell-magazines-award/454590140571

Also main site is http://www.dellaward.com

I'm kind of tempted to take a stab at that with the backdrop consisting of the bus drivers...

Alpha Bravo Niner on your six

Success, on the brink of collisions, churning for a turn at the Montreal fair, like aliens playing jump rope at the lake, surrounding the bus with turtle fluff, just do it, execute the order, no need for all of them, you can do one, pick one, any one, how about greater than sixty, and less than seventy, tasty treat huh, oh yeah, and bring the carriage, we have dogs to feed.  Welcome to the pendulum.  Now do the western one step.

"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest"

Shawn Davis