Alle

Republican politicians are the greediest, dirtiest, most snide, sleazy, bastardly things on the face of this planet.
That's all I got.

"Republicans are to humanity what Fox News is to reporting"

Shawn Davis

Comrade

So in order to fully understand the workings of those who are ultimately known as the feeble minded, you must first understand that if you understand them, in Soviet Russia they will understand you.  So in order to avoid such a thing from happening, you must first create an Alter, think of this as a temporary variable that you will be able to discard later.  Upon doing so, you will be able to use this Alter to understand those who are feeble minded, and since it is not you understanding them, rather a created variable state of a human, the feeble minded may know tat in Soviet Russia, but not you.  Keep in mind, do not venture in to far rto the mind of your Alter because then you may accidentally know the feeble minded, and then they will now you, in Soviet Russia, and then it's all over but for the tears.

"He who laughs last didn't get it"

Shawn Davis

Revitalize

The theory of combined theororization, or in simple terms, the theory that all theories are not actually theories, but rather a conglomeration of ideas that are brought forth and accepted as theory, where as they cannot actually be accepted as a theory because theories truly cannot exist because of the fact that in reality, there is no reality and that all of everything is just a though, a kind of run-on sentence that just doesn't seem to stop that is talking about nonsense, and in theory it all works, but that is only in theory due to a form of relevance between theories making the nonsense even more nonsensical through an ideal theory to theorize everything.  This is how you can theoretically think of things.

"It is theory that decides what can be observed"

Shawn Davis

Curved

The thought of man cannot be made into the simple delicacy of Campbell's condensed, but what it can be made into is a bearer of mastery.  It can contain within it the essence which can provide unto people the power to decide, decide on which condensed soup you want to eat right now, which liar you wish to vote for, what villain you wish to make someone now, or any number of choices.  Just like in a world of thought, it can fill you with braggadocio as well.  Onto my next point:  zebras.  Zebras are awesome.  Look at them, they gots all kinds of stripes and things.  They are cool horses basically.  I mean, just LOOK at them, black and white, simplicity, but the intricacies of super stripes.  I mean, they are almost as awesome as penguins, who also happen to be black and white, all things awesome seem to be black and white, have you noticed?

"There's something powerful about black and white imagery"

Shawn Davis

Penguinites

Arise and stand, oh holy of creatures.  You bring upon the lands of frigid what cannot be called mere hope, rather a blessing of just super awesome stuff.  Here me oh Penguins of Antspartica, you are being beckoned by the council, for we require your assistance in matters most urgent.  There is a severe lack of ice in our cooler, which is causing all of our drinks to...
Again!!  Come on, does no one screen the calls we get any more, that's the twelfth prank call we Antsparticans have received!  I mean really, are there no more dark spawns for us to vanquish, we cannot have truly rid the world of all of the Estrui.  We shall begin our search for them, they are out there somewhere, I can feel it.
Hello, are you satisfied with your long distance provider?
Why no I am not, why do you ask?
Well, we currently have a plan that would feature unlimited long distance calling for only two in the bush.
SERIOUSLY!!  COME ON MAN!  Start screening calls or you are all fired!

"This is not madness my friend, this is unanimous!"

Shawn Davis

Overhaul

Tis a mind bending time for the consideration of a max perplexity.  To enhance ones own vision of everything and its surroundings you must examine things in the most complex ways.  Make your brain reel.  Imagine a cow, now imagine a color, now imagine a cow in that color, now comprehend where that cow may have come from, and in that you may also derive how he got to where he is, and perhaps think about why he is eating what he is eating, and think about his, I am calling it a him for simplicity so bear with me please, innate ability to jump over the moon.  Try and focus on a specific detail and then expand it into a universe, and that is how the universe is, a sheer immensity of immense proportions, similar to that of hog tying three ants up with a single hair.

"You can get much further with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone"

Shawn Davis

A Competition?

http://www.facebook.com/notes/dell-magazines-award/guidelines-for-2011-dell-magazines-award/454590140571

Also main site is http://www.dellaward.com

I'm kind of tempted to take a stab at that with the backdrop consisting of the bus drivers...

Alpha Bravo Niner on your six

Success, on the brink of collisions, churning for a turn at the Montreal fair, like aliens playing jump rope at the lake, surrounding the bus with turtle fluff, just do it, execute the order, no need for all of them, you can do one, pick one, any one, how about greater than sixty, and less than seventy, tasty treat huh, oh yeah, and bring the carriage, we have dogs to feed.  Welcome to the pendulum.  Now do the western one step.

"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest"

Shawn Davis

Sprinkles!

Doodle:  v;  the act of drawing randomly
ex:  Just doodle something on the page there so I can give you a grade already.

Food: n;  something one would ingest for nourishment
ex:  Regardless of the fact that you are blind, I thought you would be able to tell just by looking, that eating food is a hobby of mine.

Foodle:  v;  the act of doodling with food
ex:  You guys can go ahead without me, I'm going to foodle with this spaghetti for a while.

A Ritual

Hello, this is the ritual.  First, before we begin, we must select three participants.  You, you, and you.  Good, you three shall do nicely.  Boris, throw them to the Trnka titan.  Alright, now that that is taken care of, let the ritual begin.  We begin by peeling the apples and bananas, now I understand what you are thinking, 'Apples and bananas?  What kind of soup do we make with those?'  and the answer to that is quite simple, no soup, because with your ignorant mind you get no soup.  After peeling them, slice the apples into smaller bits, and place them into a pan, and then follow suit with the bananas.  Thusly add some sugar to it along with a liquid of your choice, but not a lot, water is best to preserve the flavor of the apples and bananas, but other flavored drinks can cover, or embolden the flavors of them to your preference.  Allow the mixture to caramelize.  Now place three chickens, preferably live, into the pan and listen.  Now,and listen closely because this s the most important step in the whole procedure, add 1 cup of ox blood per apple/banana, stirring it in slowly.  Once this step is complete the chickens should no longer be moving, allowing you to finish the cooking in peace.  Maintain the heat for desired cookedness of the chicken, remember, I take no responsibility for any sort of diseases harbored within the poultry.  Serve warm in medium size bowls, each apple/banana combination yields one serving.

"No soup for you!"

Shawn Davis

Gathered Awareness

In the pivotal event when someone learns of the ability of their awareness, they are to be gathered.  Whereas those who are unable to achieve this, also known as those without midichlorians, are to be sent to the dark side of the moon so they can be scrumptiously consumed by the Delta.  And now for something completely different. A giant cheese monster attacked Tokyo earlier today which at first caused mass panic because some thought that Godzilla had turned into cheese and was attacking again, but this was quickly debunked by their top scientists, and people thusly resumed their normal day to day routines.  Please stop by the welcome desk on your way in, we will welcome you there.

"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal"

Shawn Davis

While Supplies Last

The DeMeanor is our newest patented product here at WeEnjoyYourMoney Inc.  With this unique device you are able to remove the meanies out of the meanyheads! All you do is wait until the target is sleeping, induced or not, and then surgically implant the DeMeanor into their skull.  It has a mean setting, which allows for use on any level of meanyheads, anywhere from a friend that just needs to learn a lesson, all the way up to the CEO of a bank.  What it does is use our patented design of sending a shock through the nervous of the target whenever they begin acting mean, or whenever their temples are pressed.  Order yours today!
Coming soon is our unique mouse removal device, using the age old technology of black powder along with modern sciences to completely remove any problem!

"Avarice, the spur of industry"

Shawn Davis

Sample Surveyor

Hello, my name is Ted.  Ted is the name in which I go by for my surveying position.  What I do is survey things.  If you were to ask me what I did my reply would be thusly so, that I am a surveying surveyor.  When I view things I do it with pride.  You can bet your vodka that I judge a book by its cover, because I am able to see things in it that normal humans would not be able to see, because I am a surveyor.  If I were to go into a war alongside a busdriver against some aliens again, what I would do is survey the lands, and stuff like that.  The busdriver would do the fighting, along with his militia bus filled with children.  I remember the last time I surveyed something just like the first time, and vice-versa.  Boy was it something, at least I think it was.  It could very well have been nothing, it's hard to recall.  Oh, I also have this spoon which I got from Fayzees, it is a good spoon.  Well, that is just about all I really have to say about surveying, I hope that all of you kids will be able to make your job decision wisely in your future.
By the way, when I am not surveying things I go by Ariel.

"Let the fly judge the web, not the spider"

Shawn Davis

Ode to Greatness

Students stood up
Astounded and full of glee
From a crowd of many
Arrived Luke Brekke
Who delivered a speech
Which could create dreams
Into our hearts
And raised our esteems
And we cheered at his greatness
Filled with great pride
But there was a choice
Not a free ride
We understood
His pain in this time
Though all of us were crushed
It wasn't a crime

Then Hanz Infinity Kistler and Xaviar Smith, Walter Bauer Shawn Davis and Carli Wilke, and the students of AP, and Justin Egon Asher, and Jared Jon Clairmont the Bundesnatch, and the Bandersnatch, and Robocop, Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Tayla Smith, April Conniff, Luke Lambert, and every single entry level Senior, Abraham Lincoln, Boba Fett, and Bob Dylan
All came outta nowhere lightning fast and begged Mr. Brekke to please come back, it was the saddest moment that the world ever saw
The pleading raged on for centuries, many lives were claimed, but eventually the victor was clear...

To be continued?...

He is the ultimate teacher of our AP English class

We hope the best for you Mr. Brekke, everyone will miss you, but we truly do understand

"This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny"

Shawn Davis

Hey Guys

Umm, you guys, it's getting kind of late would you mind being quiet...
Alright, it's almost 11, try to keep it down okay...
Okay, it's 11:30, try being quiet now...
Hey, hey guys, it's nearly 12, you should keep it down okay...
It's 12:10 guys, don't make too much noise...
You guys, it's 12:15, let's keep it down...
12:17 everyone, quiet down some okay...
It's already 12:18 and 30 seconds, make sure you guys don't make too much noise now...
Hey, guys, if my alarm is working right, it means that it's 12:19 and 15 seconds, so be quiet okay...

"Time is what prevents everything from happening at once"

Shawn Davis

BazoOM!

So the other day when I was just thinking about what the world would be like without crab fishermen and trees, and apparently that is some forbidden law, because upon doing so there was an immediate removal of all light, followed by a sudden semblance of candles approaching me.  They were sort of far away at first which was strange because I was in a somewhat small room that didn't go that far out, wither that or my depth perception drivers weren't up to date.  When they were close enough to make out some features, I immediately recognized them as the aliens that we had previously dominated in an all out busride battle.  They promptly grabbed me and began dragging me with them, when one of them said something along the lines of how there is no such thing as no crab fishermen.  The surroundings began getting lighter and lighter and I could make out a bunch of these aliens planting tree sprouts that immediately became ginormous trees upon being fitted into their ground homes.  I noticed off to the side some sort of factory that was churning out some things on a conveyor belt, which I realized was a line of crab fishermen.  This is where things got out of hand.  I knew what they were doing, no doubt in my mind.  Trees and crab fishermen are not real.  They are nothing but manufactured alien projects.  Upon this sudden realization, I knew just what to do, I dashed and rolled to the side and quickly shouted "AVENGERS!!!!".  Immediately four things happened, one, the Power Rangers showed up, two, my old bus driver arrived, and three, the trees began pelting fruits and nuts in our direction, and four, the crab fishermen began fishing for crabs.  The Power Rangers summoned their Zords of course to fight the giant trees (definitely the original power rangers, this I could tell), and the bus driver began rapping and taking out the aliens with the beam sword that came out of nowhere (rapping too fast for me to know what the words were for the most part), and for me, there was nothing but crab fishermen to eliminate.  The bus driver miraculously had all the aliens defeated and flying away within 23.56 seconds after 2 minutes (approximately), and the Zords made easy work of the trees after a few weeks by depriving them of sunlight and water by putting sunglasses (polarized of course) on them, and using flame throwers to evaporate all possible water.  Me, I had the hardest work to do.  The crab fishermen were excellent adversaries, they obviously studied openings, but after a while and a few en passants, I was able to castle out of the way and checkmate them without losing too many pieces, thus causing them to crumble.  After all of this, the bus driver, the rangers and myself all went to Granny's for cookies and milk.  She used to live in the forest, but after the removal of the trees, it wasn't much of a forest.

"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster.  And when you look long into an abyss, the abyss looks into you"

Shawn Davis

Existence?

Is to be said that with someone being able to think that there must be someone existing, or is it perhaps that life is in a sort surreal?  Are any of our "experiences" actually experiences, or are they nothings?  Is life just sort of a conglomeration of thoughts in one great mind, or even anything at all?  Are we even here, and in that direction, what is here?  To answer these questions, we will talk with our senior omniscience correspondent.  Hello God, are you there?  Well, it seems like our connections are down at the moment, we will bring you the rest of the story after everything is fixed.  Our technicians are telling me that they estimate everything to be back up and working early morning on December the 21st of 2012...  Awesome.

"Cogito ergo sum"

Shawn Davis

Look Into The Room

Here at the observatorium we strive to identify what it is that you are doing at all times of every day.  We strongly encourage you to think of us as omnipresent and omniscient.  Our next step is to become all powerful, and in order to do this we will spend the next however many years it will take destroying this indestructible boulder here.  If you wouldn't mind waiting for a little bit, I'm sure that we will be omnipotent shortly.  If you are concerned at all please don't hesitate to help, because we are awesome and would happily slap you if you get out of line.  No, no, no, we have enough words already.  We will destroy those who stand in our path because they are meanies.  What is that look upon your face?  Do you think I am still talking to myself, because I'm not.  We are many, and we aren't going back to that place.  We see you. 

"Thinking is more interesting than knowing, but less interesting than looking"

Shawn Davis

Phantastikal

Derive meaning from nothing.

"There is nothing true anywhere, The true is nowhere to be seen; If you say you see the true, This seeing is not the true one."

Shawn Davis

Logicality of Being Illogical

"Good sir, good sir.  Excuse me, I do believe you just punched me in the face."
"Did I, oh dear me, I think I may have."
"Yes, just now when you walked by, and I must know why it is you did it."
"Well, you were there."
"That's it, because I was there.  That isn't a reason for such an atrocious act."
"Why isn't it?"
"Why would it be?  That is the most illogical thing I have heard of."

"Oh dear, did you just punch me in the face in retaliation?"
"Yes I did."
"If my act was illogical, what causes your's to be logical."
"That is a good point my good man."
"Good day to you my fine fellow, until we meet again tomorrow."
"Indeed, yes quite.  Until tomorrow."


It is illogical for one to assume that there is any true logic.  The ability for man to perceive something from a point of view that is able to attain a sense of rightful judgement is nonexistent.  There is no true logic in the universe.  Think about it.  It is illogical to think of something in some way, so it is logical to think that there is no logic, therefore proving there to be logic, because of the fact that it is logical in finding logic, but in logically finding logic, we are finding it illogically because of the fact that there is no logic, so whatever we assume is quite illogical.  There is no logic, so there is no sense in assuming there is logic, it is just plain illogical.  Paradoxical even...

"Logic is like the sword - those who appeal to it shall perish by it"

Shawn Davis

fshHiodsat

jshKierst fiodn ifjen fjiopa iodfasdfj jawoi noifjna kfkfieaear fjkalsjf aosfa teh lofkajfsi qwryquin mzxc laf retne eht awaj fi uoy dluoc daer taht neht siht siht.  jgFadfkjhgds  kljdgfaslj  ldfkjsdg ueteyiwa fresto jgaidwhe flesym ma gnilliw ot etirw tuoba revetahw uoy tnemmoc em ot etirw tuoba.  jfaiojVadsfuh oghsidahglisfg akfjao lkjhafwio oiasiofh wqytuia oif I epoh esiwrehto uoy era gniyojne eht golb.  Joijdgai ofijdklg oihg kjogds dgasjklh osiehauig oajtegaes gdoaojigdkl dagoikj evah a taerg yad!

"I love talking about nothing, it is the only thing I know anything about"

Shawn Davis

BIOGRAPHY: XAVIAR

     Born into the humble realms of normal kittens, XAVIAR was soon able to show himself as a member of the elite THUNDERCATZ.  As a member of the Thundercatz, Xaviar was given access to many things young kittens would not have access to. He quickly rose to elite levels, even for a Thundercat.  XAVIARKITZEN soon became XAVIARKAT, and surpassed many of his elders.  With abilities beyond the mortals, Xaviarkat was promptly inducted into the leagues of the sacred A-Team.  As one of the 7 members of the A-Team, Xaviarkat has authority over most everyone, and to this day continues to mock the shadows by being invisible to even them. He enjoys celery.  If you cross him the Thundercatz are not far behind, and you can guarantee yourself that the members of the A-Team will already have you.  THUNDERCATZ ASSEMBLE!  (More on this sly kat and others later)

"The force will be with you, always"

Shawn Davis

Misunderstanding

I must first start with an apology.  I must apologize for not in a while, this is due to the fact that I have been very busy, generally from 7 am until after midnight.  So I will continue to try my best to update as often as possible, but in the near future as I foresee, I will continue to be quite busy.  Second, it is time for another entry

     From what I can tell, this is all just a understanding, as evidenced by the fact that I have already, and have yet to be born.  It is clear that some mistake has taken place.  Imagine if an item is placed in point "B" whereas it was intended for point "Orangutan", then you are able to imagine this mismanagement of elegance.  The summation of this is clearly beyond the scope of the inherent because of the simple fact of the mathematical abundance of trees.  I concur with the aforementioned arguments and wish that the hearings be discharged, honorably that is.  Thank you for coming, we will recommission the Acklay after the Rancor is finished.  Always.

"A mistake is to commit to a misunderstanding"

Shawn Davis

A Speech

First off I must say, happy puppies, and now that you have the image of playful little pups, this can be a little more enjoyable.    Second I must thank all of you for coming.  Thirdly, I am going to stop counting the statements I am making. 

Wow.  It has definitely been a ride worth the price of admission.  Between each of you as individuals there is so much variance yet so much interconnectedness; it is just so hard to find a place to start.  So let’s go to the beginning, ½ score and around 3 years ago is pretty close. That was when most of us were just entering our first of many years of schooling.  We were so smart then, and do you know why?  Because we didn’t have worries about the future, the only things we cared about were painting pictures with our fingers and learning the alphabet.  From then on things only got more difficult and more advanced, and before long we were learning addition and subtraction, forming sentences, and beginning to read Dr. Seuss books.  This would be around the time of early elementary school, when things changed, and not what we were learning, but the people whom we associated with.  Those early elementary years were when we felt like we knew everything, and to this day we have never lost that feeling, have we?  Elementary was when we formed groups, it was mostly just two groups, the “cool” and “uncool” kids.  With all this distortion of importance though, came the all powerful fix-it sheet and the conflict managers, and with those, we were perfectly fine, not really though, but close enough.  Elementary was not just the age of stupidity for us though, we had our share of bright spots,  we were getting smarter, and by the fifth grade, we were exercising our creativity in writing, cruising with our mad minute math, learning about the world in science, mastering the all-important cursive, and rocking our recorders in music. 

Then came the move to sixth grade, we felt like we were getting old and wise, but we weren’t the oldest kids in the school anymore.  We also had to begin thinking.  And while our schooling was becoming more and more in depth, we were growing closer, as a class, groups were dispersing.  We were not completely united yet though, because before long, we had a shipload of newcomers all the way from Crucifixion.  It was fun to have new people in our school, and before long most people were getting along quite nicely.  But in order to keep up with increased social points, there came points of higher education, not all bad though, because even though there was a lot of math, a lot of science, a lot of English, and a lot of social studies throughout middle school, we had one of our greatest moments in the eighth grade, not because we were one year away from high school, not because we were again the elders, but because we could choose to have a study hall, we could choose.  Wasn’t that such an empowering moment?  To be able to choose to not have a class, but instead to take school time to do your homework, that was nice.  Or even better yet *(*NOD TO COPP*)* choose to stay in band, or perhaps you rather enjoyed your singing, then you could have stayed in choir.  Then came those high school packets, then we were able to plan our future, from what classes we would take, to the ones we wouldn’t. 

High school, it has been, how should I say this, how about, it has been boss.  We have had so much control of our future since our freshmen year, it is incredible.  But all the more incredible is how close we have become a class, or rather how close we have become as a family.  Just remember what we have endured through together, things like a child for a president, a bomb scare, LOST ending, alien attacks on school buses, alien assaults on buses, teachers leaving every year after we moved to the next grade since the fifth grade, Scott Micheels, Cheese, ground mustard, ketchup, milk...  well those last few may have just been items off the grocery list, but you get the point.  We have also been part of some other interesting things such as the Thundercatz, the A-Team, our elite mathematics team, the cardiac kids, the splendor of our basketball team, and taking over the reigns as the leaders of La Crescent High School.  And now, we are coming close to pass on that leadership, and take over leadership in other avenues.

 With all the time we have been together, it is impossible to sum up everything in a speech, but we have had time for reflection, now is the time for the future.  We are about to enter a period in our life where we make all the decisions, just think of it as the greatest commons you have ever had.   We have had choices to make before, but now we have some of the biggest choices of our life and instead of our grades being on the line, it is our future.  Think of it as a porous friend of mine would say, “This isn’t your average darkness, this is advanced darkness.”  The only problem with the future is that we are not quite as smart as we used to be, and do you know why?  Because now we have things to worry about, it is no longer finger painting, it is no longer 2 + 2, it is no longer Green Eggs and Ham, and it is certainly no longer nap time.  But, we have also gained wisdom and intelligence, and as long as you know these things three you might be fine:  What is your name, what is your quest, and what is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.  Oh, and I would also like to tell you to be afraid to fail, otherwise what is there pushing you to succeed, but upon successfully failing, don’t worry about it, just keep going with your life, because truly it isn’t a big deal in the grand scheme.  It is now time to wake up and take our grand steps into life; it is time to dispense all of our great wisdom and knowledge onto the world.  And whether you have chosen to further your education or you have chosen to dive right in, there is so much to keep in mind.  Our future will not be like our past, or as John Cleese would say, “And now for something completely different.”  But that is not a reason to neglect your past, life will have its ups and its downs, and as long as we always look on the bright side of life we will make it, and the rest of the world will walk the way of us, the class of 2010, and the world will like it.

"Oh the places you'll go"

Shawn Davis

Equivalence To The Nonequivalence Point

In a world of understanding we sure don't understand very well.  That is all...  or is it?  No not really, because that would make a short entry wouldn't it.  Anyways back on topic.  We must begin to travel away from the path in which we are on.  This path will only lead us to a destination which no one truly wants.  If the goal is for everything to be in utter distortion instead of an Edenesque land, then our goal is not a goal, rather something to be ashamed of.  Why should we strive for something of chaos when the opposite can be completely in reach?  Exactly just go bananas and head for the grandeur of greatness instead of the lolly-folly of where we are going.  Just think about it, then think about something else, then continue to think about other things, but don't do it too rapidly, take it on one at a time, there you go, that's nice isn't it.  Ta-da, the end.

"Chaos is a friend of mine."

Shawn Davis

Things You Should Know

I would like to present to you something very important to your life.  It is vital you know these things in life, and it is advised that you memorize them.
On with the information.  I present to you a list of the ten things you need to know before you allow an animal to live in your house:

10.  Male or Female
9.  Neutered or not
8.  Level of animal's intelligence (try playing a game of chess with it, if it beats you, you may want to consider a different animal)
7.  Is it racist
6.  Can it find its own way home if you forget it
5.  Can the animal go to the bathroom on command
4.  Does the animal become gassy easily
3.  Is the animal married
2.  Does the animal eat other animals
1.  Does the animal eat humans

"You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, 'My God, you're RIGHT! NEVER would've thought of that!"

Shawn Davis

The Next Perspective

If you have taken a view of your surroundings from a certain perspective, join into the fun of viewing it from a new one.  For example, if you have always viewed everything in the first person, take some time to view it in the third person.  Now I know what you are saying, it is harder to control yourself in the third person.  I have an easy fix for this, don't control yourself, just let everything happen and just enjoy.  Enjoy it like you would enjoy watching figure skating penguins or maybe even a Trnka titan versus an elephant.  Oh that would be quite enjoyable.  Also, to take a different perspective on things, We will have a new sort of segment starting this week and happening whenever I would like it continued.  Another perspective you could take would be the second person perspective.  Don't ask me how to do it, I don't even know, just enjoy it.  And don't forget, if you don't like it, just go back to first person, but be careful not to go to far and end up in the zeroeth person perspective.  Scary stuff there.

"Inside my empty bottle I was constructing a lighthouse while all the others were making ships."

Shawn Davis

Memoriam

Today is a day to remember.  Remember those who have served, those who have given their lives in order to protect our freedoms and the freedoms of others.  Those people are true heroes, and those who deny them that or believe them to be a reason for troubles in the world, or those who disrespect them or spite them, those people do not deserve to have freedoms in this nation, let alone an opinion, but this nation allows those freedoms to all who are citizens of this great nation.  Remember and honor those who have served.  Do not think of today as a day of rest, or as a joyous occasion, or a cause for a party, think of it as a day to ponder.  Ponder what might happen if there is no one to serve, ponder the outcome of the world if this nation were not so, ponder if there were not the kind of people there are who are willing to give there lives for others, ponder everything, ponder why you have done what you have done, ponder if you have justified there sacrifice, ponder whether or not you make the most out of every day, ponder if you are a person of greed or a person who the soldiers would be happy to know, ponder.  Remember them.  Honor them.  Today is not a day off, today is a day of remembrance.

"Four things support the world: the learning of the wise, the justice of the great, the prayers of the good, and the valor of the brave."


Shawn Davis

Turtle Coins

Imagine, if you will, a time in which time itself didn't know how to count.  That would be interesting.  Now imagine a turtle, see this is fun isn't it.  No you say, well let me get your birth certificate and social security number and we'll see how fun things can get.  Yeah that's right, I will.  No, not really, I might send out a Trnka titan to destroy you, but I wouldn't steal your identity, that is wrong.  Have a turtle for the fun of it.  Just don't let him play in the street like you did with your last pets.  Poor kids, they never saw the semis coming.  Eat some spinach there Popeye.  Ai, go over the horses and under the drapes, hide the cheese.  Out.

"For me, insanity is super sanity.  The normal is psychotic.  Normal means lack of imagination, lack of creativity."

Shawn Davis

A Means To An End

A means to an end is not necessarily an end to means.  Means must be used in order to achieve things, and upon achieving said thing, another thing must be set forth to be achieved.  And not all things needing to be achieved need to be an end.  Also, upon achieving something, in order for there to be a means for life to continue, something must step into its place to be achieved, thus we find our selves to be in a means for means.  Meaning that we could just cut out the middle man, the thing to be achieved, and just have a means to a mean.  Does this mean anything to you?  Of course it might.  Let us not find a means to a mean, for upon that day there is no more mean.  To all, just stop with the means, make there be no means to anything, thus allowing us to be in a constant state of means, but be careful to not totally ignore the means, because then there would be no means at all, leading to no reason for life. Always have a means for means, but just don't do them, that is until the night before they are due, or even the morning before they are due.

"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death."

Shawn Davis

Buzz Buzz

I suppose it is about that time isn't it?  We shall now discuss together the birds and the bees.  Birds fly, and so do bees, but generally speaking, bees are much smaller than birds.  Bees generally are accompanied by a buzzing sound whereas, save for birds like the hummingbirds, do not really have that sound.  Bees sting and it hurts as well as make honey.  Birds peck and make windows messy.  Bees live in hives and birds live in nests.  Bees have queen bees, and birds lay eggs.  Now you are ready for life.  If you feel anyone you know needs to have this talk, feel free to use all the information here, and you don't need to reference me at all!  Buzz buzz.

"The sun is out, birds are singing, bees are trying to have sex with them - as is my understanding."

Shawn Davis

Acesodynous Supercivil Braggadocianism

A relieving of pain in civilization through the use of braggadocio.  It is an unalterable truth that the United States believes itself the most superior country in the world, and why shouldn't it, it is.  We as a people are able to relieve the pains of the world by being so awesome.  When we are above other countries in all other ways possible; I mean come on, we are after all, the country that was able to bring about the end of two of the 4 world wars.  I mean we are not only super powerful and all, but we are full of geniuses.  Just think of all the technologies that we have, and where do you think we got these technologies, probably invented in Japan and made in China.  That is how smart we are, we need not do any work to be on top.  Without precedence of this power in the past, we can not help but brag.  Well, you might consider countries of the past like the US, like perhaps Rome, the Chinese Empires, and Germany of yore, among many others, but really, we are better just because we are who we are.  While we are at it being awesome though, we should colonize other planets and make them equally awesome and a part of US.  We could colonize the moon and join the Delta, we could go and conquer Mars from the Martians, or we could even go all the way out to Alpha Centauri and defeat Sid Meier.  Let our kingdom rain forever because it will because we are awesome because we say so because, well just believe US.

"They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance."

Shawn Davis

Potatoes

When the advent of time was in view, and the Universe young, the simple solution to all problems was to use potatoes.  no longer is this so.  Everyone agreed then, and it may even seem it now, the creation of the Universe wasn't a good thing.  It was all too messy and jumbled.  Why couldn't they just leave everything the way it was, everything was just a quick fix, just use a potato.  Now we have only one thing that is even remotely close to the usefulness level that potatoes were back then, and that item is duct tape.  Understand though how simple and easy everything was back then.  Oh yeah that's right, you can't, just picture something that isn't difficult in an infinite abundance, like EXTREME PING PONG.  Yeah, that.  Now you understand don't you.  Just try and use potatoes to solve everything, doesn't work.  Wish it did didn't ya.  Well, shouldn't of messed everything up with this Universe deal then.
On a side note, today there is a birthday.  Happy Birthday!

"It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problem with just potatoes"

Shawn Davis

Penguin Advancement

I believe it is time we put apart our differences and finally rejoin forces with the penguin militia.  They have gone through their civil war, and triumphantly can proclaim that they now have a just Emperor, along with the guidance and aid of Lord Penguin.  Since the end of The Penguin Wars, many penguins have reached out for assistance claiming that they had saved the world from some race of shade creatures, and while I am a little leery of this claim, I wholeheartedly accept them among our ranks in civilization.  With all their scientific advancements they have yet to share with us they could be a major benefit to us, while we could finally provide them a safezone throughout the world so they do not have to worry about being assaulted without cause.  I have been in contact with a certain penguin who I have known for a long time, and I have complete trust in, and he has been talking to his people, and they all agree that they wish for all bloodshed that is unneeded end promptly.  From what we have seen as well, their weaponry is immensely powerful considering the fact that they have fought an all-fronts war and were able to not only hold back all opposition, but push them back and advance themselves, and that is with their tiny population.  Also if they were fighting a supposed war against the creatures they claim they fought, that would make it all the more impressive.  The reason we would require their efficiency in war, what seems to be even more efficient of a war machine than that of Germany, is because of the imminent strike from the Martians.  I'm sure that if we were to contact and consult the Delta, they would first be shocked to find fighting amongst ourselves, but also would agree that we need to assist them in all ways possible.  So please, for the sake of all humanity and penguinity, let us put away our differences that we have pettily made up, and join in an epic battle for survival.

"I have often had the impression that, to penguins, man is just another penguin -- different, less predictable, occasionally violent, but tolerable company when he sits still and minds his own business."

Shawn Davis

On the Feet of the Steed

Special Ops...  Transmission Linking...  Operation:  Pony Express
To those of you listening, there is a special mission to be granted by a super secret organization.  The code names are completely in use, and boy are they fitting.  Everything that could possibly have a code name has one, this is a transmission which I have received, and I feel completely confident in posting it here because it could not possibly be deciphered without knowledge of what it is about.  So without further ado, I present to you, super secret #1:
'Today to the gates of apples.  We all must understand tomorrow on the stones.  Stray afar from the grey, but acknowledge completely the gray.  Travel with opinion on the feet of the steed so as to not wake the neighbors.  Detriment is unacceptable, let loose grizzly.  UUDDLRLRbaStart.  Send it to trains of onions, beware the hornets.  Exuent all.'

"The art of the parenthesis is one of the greatest secrets of eloquence in Society."

Shawn Davis

Delta-Star

The Delta, a species of aliens that supposedly inhabit the moon, are either with us or against us.  If you look at the based-on-a-real-story film Mars Attacks, the Martians are planning to attack us whether we are prepared or not, and the Delta are turning our moon into a star of sorts.  If you are wondering, this star was seen in another real story film titled Star Wars.  Yes, that is correct, the Delta are turning our very moon into a form of the Death Star.  My belief though, is that they are actually creating this in order to help us in our defense against the Martians.  My reasoning behind this is the following:  The Martians already seem to have a Death Star; one of Saturn's moons, Mimas, has been turned into a Death Star.  I believe that it was under construction for many many years, more than any of us has been around, and was finally completed recently.  What they are waiting for is to move it to the ideal position to assault Earth with, as well as the fact that without the Earth, the Delta would not be inhabiting a predefined orbit as they have been for many years.  What we must do to assist the Delta in defending our home planet is simple:  First, assemble all the bus drivers into a defense task force, second, call Stephen Hawking and ask him to use the LHC to make a few black hole cluster bombs, and third, tell the Delta that they "may fire when ready."  This should in fact not be wholly unexpected, after all we do have the temperament of a society that has reasonable temperatures, think of the temps at which they have to live with on Mars.  I mean really, think about how moody some people can get upon entering 100 degree (farenheit) weather, and how reclusive people can become upon arriving at temperatures 40 degrees below.  They endure through much worse, they have to take their aggression out on someone, so I say we just give them a heater and air conditioner and wish them the best, that and have Mr. Hawking send them to another universe through one of his fancy wormholes.

"Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected.  In this case, I should think 'interesting' would suffice"

Shawn Davis

Abracadabra Alakazam

That is my answer, and I feel it is the best answer out there.  Scientists are always out there trying to explain everything, and I can already do that, so I tell them to stop wasting their time.  If anyone has any questions, I can answer them, if you don't have any questions, I can still answer them.  So to start off, I will answer the question of a random topic, and in light of physics, I will make it gravity.  Gravity is not actually caused by mass and gravitational pulls of anything, you see, since the Earth has a magnetic field everyone is attracted to the Earth through magnetism.  There are different forms of magnetism, which explains why magnets as you believe them act the way they do towards certain thing.  But the main reason for which magnetism works to hold everything down consists of scheming doctors and governments.  You see, at birth we all have umbilical cords in order to use the parent to hold us down to Earth, or said planet, otherwise we would just be free floating.  The doctors immediately upon birth insert a special type of magnet which then begins its process of holding us down.  There is a lot more behind this as well.  The magnetic bond from this acts as a sort of rubber band, which is attached to said planet or object we are on, and upon being broken needs to be re-affixed to the being, and doing so has become easier with technology.  Now a days, we have tiny nano-bots that fly around and do all of this at a molecular level, but in our early days of space travel some odd thousands of years ago, the people who returned to Earth were first lassoed and pulled down, and then put through the grueling re-affixiation process, not fun.  Today it is much more simple and quick as well as pain free.  I feel this adequately serves to allow you to understand more about gravity, tune into the next session of Abracadabra Alakazam which will arrive sometime in the future, perhaps they will be here once a month or so, who knows, enjoy.

"There is a theory which states that is ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened."

Shawn Davis

Zippy

Just a quick update today.
You need to know how to know before you can truly know that you know naught, for in naught knowing that your knowledge is naught, you are but naught in knowledge, but in being naught in knowledge you are the same as knowing that your knowledge is naught, thus verifying that no matter what, naught is known.  The power of knowledge knows no limits, which is why man is not bestowed with knowledge, rather man is given the ability of insight.

"Do or do not.  There is no try." -Yoda

Shawn Davis

We Are Under Attack!

Apparently aliens think it their duty to destroy mankind.  We mustn't let this happen.  As an example I will recall for you this true story of a school bus ride that I had on my way to school in my younger years:
There we were, not thinking about much, rather focusing on the Gameboy.  The game itself was fun, but in no way would it have been the optimal lead in for what was next.  There came a loud humming sound overhead, it was all the more louder because we were out in the valley somewhere on a gravel road, with the bluffs creating immense echoes, and all of a sudden the bus driver yelled "All those under the seventh grade get down and stay hidden, the rest of you, it is time to assemble, and I know you don't know what is happening, but there is no time to prepare."  All of us who were in the seventh grade and above all formed a line to the front of the bus as we waited for the driver's next action.  All of a sudden there were crazy loud earth shaking thuds all around us, and as I glared out the windows I could see debris flying everywhere with craters the sizes of boulders all around.  The bus driver began to open a compartment under his seat, and as it opened we all became wide eyed, but it did not last due to the continued bombardment of the bus.  The back of the bus had gotten hit by one of the blasts, and as a result, it was completely torn off, with a result of several injuries to some of the high school kids. What was in the supply stash though was our only hope.  It seemed to be a mixture of rocket launchers and more rocket launchers.  There were plenty for everyone, but the problem was getting out of the bus without being blasted in order to use them.  This is where planning came into place.  We had one person next to each window, and three lined up in the back where there was nothing, and then the bus driver put the bus into reverse and slowly backed up about twenty feet.  It was perfect, we were all able to get clear shots at the large oval shaped ship flying above us.  We started in order with firing, from the two in the front windows, until the people in the back had fired.  Upon entering our second round of bombardments, we had the remaining students with rockets exit the bus and take cover by trees and get in firing position.  The bombardments of both the student and the aliens stopped for a moment, then the students all fired at once, causing a massive hole in the ship where the rockets all mostly hit.  The strange thing was, they still weren't firing anymore.  Then the bus driver saw their plan and yelled, "Coral onto the bus, I have more stuff to use."  So what happened next was we loaded onto the bus and all traded in rockets, save for three students in case of emergency, for automatic rifles.  We were now prepared with two students per window, and six in the back, three of them with rockets.  It was time to take out their "sneak" ground assault.  They tried to jump us from over a hill, but they were no match, the driver hauled it double time in the bus and even proceeded to take three of them out by running them down.  No more ammo, so what happened next was quite stunning; the bus driver pulled out his secret lightsaber and proceeded to use a combination of the saber and the force to easily annihilate the remaining attackers.  I won't go into the details of that because I'm sure you all have an idea of that.  After the aliens proceeded to beam all of their troops aboard and leave, the bus driver had us all sit in our seats and not be too loud until we got to school.  Thank God for bus drivers.

"You Must Construct Additional Pylons."

Shawn Davis

Stardate Now

With the advent of supertechnologies it is understandable that people just take technology for granted.  This being so, we should attend to some of the reasons behind the advancements of such things.  Where do the ideas for all these crazy technologies come from.  It seems quite transparent that the apparent answer is Science Fiction.  The works of science fiction can attest to many of today's everyday items as their brainchild.  Why then is science fiction viewed as something for nerds and geeks when most people in the world today use these crazy ideas that were initially represented in science fiction.  If you look around your room and view any of the following objects you can either adjoin your name to the likes of geekdom and nerdocity, or simply accept the fact that science fiction is more important than it is viewed by everyday people (nice fallacy use):  Television, DVD's, Computers, Printers, Flash Drives, Avatar, Cheese, Paper, Air, Turkey, Juice, James Cameron, Ground, Gravity, Floor Boards, Board Rooms, Room Service, Service Specialists, Special Olympics, Olympic Athletes, Space Ships, Middle Aged Mutant Turtles, Eyes, Fingers, Light, Hamster Cages, Speakers, VHS Tapes, Liver Transplants, Rocket Ships, Pirate Ships, Battleships, Cameras, Snowmen, Hats, Dust, Color, Footballs, Couches, Water, Remotes, Shirts, Telephones, and if you could stretch your thinking a bit, you could probably even include phasers.  With such an extensive and profound list, you might be asking yourself, "wow, does science fiction impact anything else, or maybe important people like perhaps:  Stephen hawking, that one guy from the Universe on the Discover  Channel, Doc Emmit Brown, Thomas Thesing, Manhorse, Ron L. Hubbard, the crazy guy on the corner of the boulevard, the crazy guy that runs around with a giraffe outfit, Emelia Earhart,  Amadeus Mozart, Genghis Kahn, Spock, George W. Bush, Thomas the Train, geese, Nintendo, paper, Luke Brekke, Orson Scott Card, Lord Alfred Tennyson, the author of The Penguin Wars, AC/DC, Nikola Tesla, Chromium ions, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, and what about the director of Der Untergang?"  And in asking yourself that, you may also want to get checked by a specialist, but that isn't the point, because yes, all of those people have been or are profoundly affected by science fiction, go ahead and don't ask them yourself.  Well, maybe not Orson Scott Card, but rest assured that the rest are all very affected by such writings.  End.

"All Your Base Are Belong To Us"

Shawn Davis